Sunday, 1 December 2013

I am starting to wonder if holiday is a good or bad thing.

Whenever I am free mom will assign me some things to do. Today, I was asked to photoshop some pictures so that the background will turn out to be plain white.

I spent hours trying to figure out this new software but the end product wasn't satisfactory. I told her this is the best I could do.

What I got in return is being called stupid and useless, because whatever I produced wasn't up to her expectations.

Being called stupid & useless - I am obviously angry, but I am more upset.

It's not like I haven't been in this situation. I just don't know why I still feel upset after all these years. Perhaps I have a very big ego plus a poor memory.

I did try to help her out but I have my own limitations. I am not skilled in everything on this earth. Is that unacceptable?

To think that she asked me to not study so hard. I cannot imagine what would I be called next if I get lousy results because I listened to her & gave myself a breather.

I guess I shouldn't bother myself with such incidents anymore. She doesn't feel bad for saying those words & probably doesn't know how hurtful those words are (to me).

As I reflect about myself, I really can say that I don't really have any achievements. The only thing I do a little better than average people is schoolwork. But when I compare myself to the brilliant people out there my so-called achievement is merely a speck of dust. Other than academics, I flunk all the other aspects of life.

Thanks for reminding me how useless I am Mom.

No comments: